Closure or a New Beginning?

You were supposed to be my hero.  Love me like no other man ever could. I trusted you not to break my heart and you broke it time and time again, and now this is where our relationships stops and my journey alone begins.
(based on a true story)

Dear Sir,

This letter is to inform you that on Saturday, May 11, 2013 my graduation from the prestigious Loyola University of New Orleans will be taking place at the Mercedes Benz Superdome at 9:45 am. This letter is to also to inform you, sir, that you are not invited.
I know you probably have a lot of questions that I do not want to answer, so I'll make this short and sweet. Where have you been? You promised me that you would try harder not only to build our relationship but also to maintain it. You sir have completely broken that promise. I can't recall the last time I saw your face, the last time we had a conversation, the last time you attempted to be apart of my life. You know what, I take that back, it was my high school graduation. You showed up, smiled for some pictures, and gave me a dancing penguin in a cap and gown with a balloon and some candles.
"Wild thing. You make my heart sing. Wild thing I think I love you." That's what the penguin said.
Think you love me.....that should have been the giveaway right there. You think you love me?
They say a love like this one should be unconditional and should require no thought, no effort, it just is, it exists, and manifests itself a billion times over. Guess a love like that one wasn't meant for us.
Just so you know I don't blame you. It's hard to be in a person's life when you've been out of it so long. I just wished you would have figured all of that out sooner. Instead you led me to believe that we could be real. That this relationship could be real, and all that has been real is the struggle. Well now sir my struggle is over. I have made peace with my decision. My life is better without you in it. You've been running away from me all this years so why stop now. I promise not to hate you, but I also promise not to love you either. It's just better that way.
Have a good life and I'll do the same. If you attempt to try to make amends I will see you Saturday. I love you sir.
P.S. I know you hate being called "sir" but I don't know what else to call you

no restrictions (in theory)

Restricted....feeling like you can't do something even though you really want to. That's how I feel right now.
Restricted in my mind because while I would like to write a story about an affair, I can't make it come together. While I feel that a murder mystery story should just jump out of my mind on to the page, it won't. I am officially brain dead.
What is it like to be alive but not live? Why does the writer not write? Where is inspiration?
This sucks. There are so many other things I would rather be saying.

1) what causes people to have affairs
2) why did she shoot her husband
3) the cliche tale of stripping my way through school (even though I secretly enjoy it)

those all seem like fun things to write about.....yet they aren't written. I want to write them but I can't.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I'm screaming right now, but you can't tell because you're reading this, and even if you were in front of me you wouldn't know I'm screaming because it's not out loud. Maybe I should scream out loud.....I did. I lied. I just said I did.

Just like I said that I want to write about 1,2, and 3. Who knows? Only I do. Actually I don't. I don't know anything.

Here come's a story...nope just a brain fart.